Monday, November 23, 2009
I managed to catch the documentary 'Terror in Mumbai' last night on the Discovery Channel at 12am and it left me sleepless.
I couldn't have been able to imagine the intensity of the fear of those people taken hostages until I got to see for myself the real-life accounts of those who escaped the clutches of death. Even as a viewer watching the documentary, the trepidation that I felt just by listening to their accounts and watching the video clips already left me gasping for breath. Every single minute watching the documentary was spent going, "I can't understand why. I can't. I can't" and at the same time trying to calm my nerves. It's just crazy how fear had engulfed me simply by WATCHING what had befallen upon others. Just imagine a few gunmen marching into your room pointing their rifles at you..or just imagine hiding in a corner of the pitch-black room listening to the incessant gun-shots fired outside, not knowing whether you will be alive the next moment..
That was one moment I clearly understood how technology is a double-edged sword. An interview sent over to the CNN by one man hiding in the hotel chamber with many others was broadcasted worldwide. But at the same time, perhaps the world didnt know that the mastermind of the spate of attacks, like everybody else, could have access to this vital piece of information for them to maximize their destruction. The terrorists were now instuctured to stomp into the chamber.
An account by a lady who had survived the attack left me thinking for quite a while. She had managed to escape death by using her black scarf over her dress as a headscarf, deluding the terrorists that she was a Muslim. She said something along the lines that the terrorists were dumb-founded when they saw her using the tap, and wanted to do the same, but they had no idea how a tap works. "They could not even turn on a tap. Yet, with a gun, they could do anything, everything." Her husband was similarly able to escape the gunshots by reciting a verse, the only verse he knew from the Quran to validate that he was a Muslim. They were told to kneel down to pray to God, while everybody behind them were mercilessly fired upon, as blood of the other victims splattered all across them.
It must have been crazy. I was trying to imagine if I was there.. Would I have been able to even withstand the fear?
And i jokingly told my mum that I would have probably died of a heart failure first rather than being shot down by the terrorists. Bravery. Courage. Sacrifice. The words that struck me during the course of the documentary. Hotel managers and waiters risked their lives to protect their guests and stayed back despite having chances thrown before them to escape. These selfless heroes really earn our utmost respect.
Despite catching up with the news of the attacks everyday last year, it never did hit me so hard how torturing and agonizing those hours really were for the people who went through the attacks.
And I'm reminded of the line Liting and I used to say. Wake up every morning, look into the mirror, and be thankful you're still alive.
Monday, November 16, 2009
my birthday present by my two dearest friends - ruiqi and van <3
haha its quite subtle i didnt even get it at the first glance! anybody reading this figured it out already?
ruiqi and van know me best la :D looking at the lyrics they came out with says everything already; so representative of me (if we were to neglect the part on van's leopard prints ____ and ruiqi's sexy voice) :P ruiqi if you are reading this...my calf muscles craze has stopped long ago already! so i can still happily 结婚生子 hahaha!
when my surprise attack on van had failed miserably on 6th nov...van and ruiqi managed to execute their plan so well i didnt even expect it seriously!!! kae so i was taking my afternoon nap on a sat afternoon... and had prepared tables and chairs for van who claimed she was coming to study at my house! then van called and asked me to look down from my window?! and the next thing that happened was 2 crazy girls singing 对面的女孩看过来 at the top of their voices at my void deck?!! (for more details go check out the videos on facebook :P)
and when they came out to my house they insisted on presenting their songs before stepping in! the lyrics are damn epic!!!! HAHAHA OKAY i shall flaunt your talents here ok :P
To the tune of 如果的事 chorus:
如果你已经不能控制
每天想我们一次
你的眼睛就会自然湿
如果你上梁CSC
听更多道德经
你的心情就会自然开心
如果你决定跟随感觉
为爱勇敢一次
祝你和** 早生贵子
我们肯定会支持到底
这般恋爱心情
因为你快乐是我们快乐
-------------------------
To the tune of 爱如潮水 chorus: (solo by off-tune Queen (King) Tay Ruiqi!) :
你千万不要整天摸别人的小腿
否则告你非礼就后悔莫及了
从此不必妄想结婚生子了
你千万不要忘记VAN 的 LEOPARD PRINTS BRA
还有 TAY RUIQI SEXY 的嗓音啊
你可知道这样我们会心碎~
HAHAHA i cant help but laugh everytime i watch the video!!! nobody can beat their creativity and craziness seriously! really 不得不爱 你们！just makes me sit back and wonder why i could be so fortunate to have such special friends.. and when i look back 10 years down the road, i'll be so glad i have a repository of crazy and beautiful memories to remininisce. and i really love the jacket! :D have just got so much to appreciate these selfless friends - doing so much for me in the midst of A levels. <3
and thankyou to all other friends who wished me things like 早生贵子 and stuff HAHA :P
THANKYOU
lishian
yuqin
yuyu
yukang
xiaohui
rach
chit
lydia
chongtee
taisoon
freddi
siyun
yiding
xiangjie
dory
rachel chng
sheen
char
for your precious SMSes :D
and all those other facebook well-wishes :D
(the only time of the year i have ever been so active on facebook; and the first ever realization that i did not active my 'wall'!!! so i never had a 'wall' for 2 plus years ever since i created my account. how cool is that?! and the first experience using chatting on facebook with ruth HAHA how cool can i still get?!)
becca
linlaoshi
chejian
yehui
jindao
chengxin
ruth
ms kumar
liting
eugene
zhenping
benita
adrian
pohting
joseph
edward
sohweekian
boonyang
sheila
wangxue
bochengkor
jingwei
yichao
kelvin
hope i didnt miss out anyone :D really really appreciate your well-wishes. every birthday has a symbolic meaning of reflection, appreciation and gratitude. and most importantly, to remember how my mummy went through so much pain in labour to deliver me to this place :)
just 1 year ago i was at mother teresa's home. it couldnt have been more meaningful..having spent my birthday doing a lil bit for the children.
moving on 1 year later, i hope i have matured into a better person.. and have learnt to give more than take. its a constant reminder and i cant say i have always been able to do so, but i'm trying. and i hope a year later on this day, i can firmly assert that the past year has been one that has witnessed growth and maturity :)
Saturday, November 07, 2009
失眠的第3天。。。
:/
ever since sec3, every year when it comes to around dec i tend to get amnesia for a couple of days. i have no idea why seriously..
this time round the cycle has arrived too early. ahh i need sleep now pls let me sleeep.
on another note, mummy's gonna get me michael buble's album for my bday :)))))))) have been listening to shanghai jazz music these few days to accompany me through studying. its quite therapeutic. my new-found love now :)
and i just cant believe 9 nov is just less than 2 days away.
way too fast.
Friday, October 09, 2009
亲爱的 眼睛,
PLEASE ALLOW ME TO STUDY....
i have been using my eye drops at such a rapid rate these few days to alleviate my problem of dry eyes. quite frustrating that my eyes have to impede my studying when i am unusually awake now :/
Thursday, September 17, 2009
i should really get down to serious mugging. i'm getting quite appalled by myself :/ argh perhaps its not a very wise time to read 'The Parent's 道德经' at this point of time. it leaves my mind open to so many other things that i feel cooped with what i'm doing right now, which is really quite a big distraction. and the most direct means being the fact that i keep reading it over and over again. it's just so profound and intricate that reading once alone isnt enough..the words take on a different meaning each time i read it. i havent been left in such a state of...amazement for so long. literally everytimne i flip a new page, i'm left stunned and intrigued for at least 30 seconds, and take another minute to digest the depth of the teachings. and end up exclaiming and going 'omg i have never read anything so true'.
let me just quote a few sentences here:
Encourage your children's deepest joys,
not their superficial desires.
Praise thier patience,
not their ambition.
Do not value the distractions and diversions
that masquerade as success.
They will learn to hear their own voice
instead of the noise of the crowd.
If you teach them to achieve,
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything.
----------------------------------------
i dont think any of the above that i have said can do enough justice to the book... k im gonna get cliche, but argh its beyond description. my language proficiency just doesnt render me the ability to carry the full essence of just how great it is.
真是心灵的一次洗涤 :)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
i think around this time last year, i posted a post on the ares blog to bid farewell to the seniors who were going off for study break and an encouraging note to them to jiayou for As.
oh well how fast; it's our turn now!
anyway, i have been indulging in sporadic moments of happiness that have been hitting me waves by waves these few days. it's really the simplest things that can strike a chord in my heart and leave it glowing for the many hours to come. really the simplest. just a simple appreciation and sincere gratitude to life does the job :) friends readily giving up their seats to me, helping me get some food, meeting teachers who show an exceptional amount of concern to me - with zhanglaoshi rattling on about how i should take good care of my health the first thing he saw me, meeting my favourite teachers and catching up after so manyyy years and find ourselves reminiscing the good old memories (MRS NG!) and the list goes on and on and on.
deriving joy over these seemingly mundane matters that many conveniently ignore can make a positive difference. afterall, isn't it always better to blow happiness into bigger proportions rather than the reverse? i think i'm keeping a rather healthy state of mind given all the stress and stuff. sometimes there are indeed too many concerns and temporary troubles that may hit along the way, but i guess i'm doing quite a good job with the art of 自我调整 by choosing to focus on the things that make me contented instead :D hoorays :D
Sunday, August 23, 2009
today,
i saved a worm.
i saw a pathetic worm hanging precariously on a strand of a spider's web drooping down from a tree. i thought that the worm was struggling hard to escape; at least that was what i had inferred. so i conveniently took out my time magazine - which never came in so handy before, and smacked that strand hard enough for it to be broken. and by then, the worm was wiggling around the concrete path, perhaps, looking at me with much gratitude and delight. on my side, i was beaming with satisfaction with what i have done - despite getting weird stares from passers-by at someone who was jumping in mid-air waving her time magazine up and down. but it was only a few second later when it struck me that i had just caused a mass destruction to the spider's fruit of labour and its source of food. it must have hated me.
it's really a tough case to debate what would be the right thing to do. the most instinctive thing that came to mind was to release the helpless worm from the tangles of the web in order to prevent it from being devoured. but hey, i had just poked my finger in and somehow toppled the equilibrium of how nature works. the worm could have been saved in this incident, but what about the next? i could have saved this worm, but what about the next? but irrefutably, i have inflicted unnecessary harm to an innocent spider which was only dutifully carrying out its duties to ensure its own survival.
sometimes good intentions bring about unintended consequences. it's also a matter of a struggle of the emotions and the logic. emotionally, i think i would have been troubled over the fact that i did not do anything that could have saved that poor worm throughout the entire bus ride. but logically, its a different matter altogether. this conflict really set me thinking. through the process i got to reveal slices of myself that i had not consciously noticed before. perhaps my perspectives and judgement have always been steered towards the emotional-side. maybe it's time i take a step backwards to process things in a more logical and practical light. but then again, i shouldn't try too hard. i can always attempt to form a more 'balanced' point of view, but ultimately, what i feel more inclined towards shape me into who i really am. taking into consideration of the other point of view is desirable, but i guess it shouldn't be the case of forcing me to change myself. :)
my birthday present by my two dearest friends - ruiqi and van <3